It isn’t about me. It isn’t about you. It’s about us.•
Posted on May 11 2019
I’d like to introduce you this week to Marie Damasio. We met through our angels, Jordana and her son Tristan, who gained his wings less than a year ago, on June 30, 2018 from DIPG. Marie and I have shared many late night conversations trying to find light when there was not even a spark to be found. Marie lives in Hamilton, Ontario and I had the immense honour of meeting Tristan. Tristan’s eyes were the eyes of a much older soul and it was tangible, just like it was when I would stare into Jordana’s. Meeting Tristan the Brave was, without a doubt, one of my life’s most precious moments. Today, Marie bravely chronicles her life with her greatest teacher, her son Tristan and her life this Mother’s Day without his physical presence. I am truly humbled to share the weeks Chronicles with her.
The Chronicles are not just about me. It’s not just about you. It’s about us. Our stories are for everyone out there who is choosing to grow, choosing to heal by simply... listening.
“Sharing our stories gives us all room to breathe and those around us a chance to exhale too."
Marie I love you. Thank you.
Tomorrow mark’s my first Mother’s Day without Tristan’s physical presence here to celebrate with me. I’ll admit that when I first thought about opening my heart for Jordana’s Rainbows - The Chronicles on Mother’s Day weekend, I was nervous; as fear began to creep in, the words began to escape me. I started to lose track of my intention for this piece. The painful realization of knowing how many mothers are walking in these shoes, I began to question if I could bring any justice to what bereaved mother’s feel on a day like this one. Myself yet not crossing that bridge of yet another painful first without Tristan, I felt unworthy to be the voice for this week’s entry.
As always Tristan sent me many signs and put me right back on track. I remembered to look to his bravery and to express not the pain of what is inevitably felt by all bereaved mother’s on a day like this one, but to remind us all of the blessing of being the ones they trusted with their earthly life and eternal legacy. They chose us. Something I’ve been reminded of in the midst of my self doubt and regrets looking back. I know I’m not alone in questioning was I good enough for him. Did I do right by his needs? His heart and soul? His purpose? Did I miss something that could have saved him? The truth is I still don’t feel worthy of being Tristan’s mom, but I am so grateful that I am. His sweetness is not of here, something I have witnessed in many DIPG warriors. They carry a different colour to their aura, one, that poetically can only be described as a rainbow.
When I look back to my pregnant self I viewed motherhood so differently. I viewed it as a blessed role where I would guide Tristan on his journey and help shape his character in life with all I had learned from my own. I didn’t think then that giving birth to Tristan I wasn’t only becoming a mother to a son, I was becoming a student to my biggest teacher. To this day, he teaches me much more than I ever could him; I just have to listen much harder now to hear his voice. If I keep my eyes open, my perspective bigger than me, bigger than us, I can see his light and feel his spirit. Tristan continues to guide me on the path he wants me to follow. The roles that I believed once should be reversed are just as God intended them to be.
DIPG is a monster that feels so big that it carries with it an awakening that can’t be ignored. Like Alison, I too believe there is no such thing as coincidence. This principal is one of the many reasons I think we are so drawn to one another. As the storm begins to feel less like a hurricane, I can see how divinely we were brought together, how our children play a big part of God’s plan, uniting a collective of souls to make the changes he knows our earth needs now most.
I see life as we see the stars, mapped out from one to another till a constellation is formed. I see now how each one of us, destined to make it all come together, have our roles to fulfill, but none of us meant to do it alone. I feel Jordana and Tristan came here with the immeasurable strength, the brightest of lights and unconditional love for humanity and life because the world needs people who truly impact to pave the way. They took on the biggest sacrifice as innocent children to wake us up… to show us a better way, to not waste the time they weren’t given. Changes need to be made, LOVE is of most importance, and our growth comes from our challenges; they trusted us to carry their lessons forward.
I don’t know what the future holds, I don’t know why Jordana and Tristan were given DIPG, and why Alison and I were chosen for this path. I do know that I’m grateful with all my heart to them for bringing us together, just as they are now in Heaven.
Through Jordana’s Rainbows and soon to be Tristan’s Wish, I know as mothers we will fight this battle hand in hand. We will do this knowing they are guiding us, sending us the earth angels we need to help carry us through and continue their purpose.
Alison, has been my rock and saving grace through Tristan’s journey. We walked our days with DIPG alongside one another, and I couldn’t imagine surviving this without her. The amount of love, support and connections that came to Tristan because of Alison’s bravery to share Jordana with the world, made a difference to how we got through. She opened her heart to Tristan, sharing his battle through Jordana’s Rainbows and did all she could to help, even in the midst of her own devastation…
I see so clearly why an angel like Jordana chose an angel like Alison with the honour of being her mother. She knew her mother has the heart and strength to carry her purpose forward, no matter how difficult it could be. Jordana, thank you for sending me and Tristan your beautiful mom, I promise to walk beside her here as you and Tristan light up the sky with Rainbows and Stars. We will keep our eyes open and look for you everywhere in all that we do. Thank you our angels, for choosing us. This day is for you, this Mother’s day we celebrate the lives that opened us to our potential, set us on our true path and gave our life here profound meaning and joy. Thank you Fiorini family for trusting me to be a part of your family’s incredible foundation for Jordi and for inspiring me to find my strength to do so for Tristan.
Written by: Marie Damasio
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